Hey @Spamming_Eddie !
You asked, so here is my satire filled eulogy!

I got my MBP in August of 2011. To protect my first Mac, I got a Pelican Case for it. $2200 was a heck of a lot of money then and now. It was amazingly fast and intuitive compared to a Windows laptop. But I suffered being a Mac guy in a Windows world.
My trusted MacBook Pro nearly died in 2017 when the integrated video card failed. But there was an “extended warranty” that covered it. They put in a new motherboard and it was as good as new. It was one of my prized possessions.
Knowing it was long in the tooth, I bought a new MacBook Pro in 2020, after using it daily for 9 years! I wiped it, and at that time it had some value, was planning on selling it. My bride said no, she was going to use it, so it sat downstairs, unused, until 2022. I dusted it off, loaded GSender and it continued to be used as my control computer and my music streaming machine ever since . I have an equally antiquated Apple TV hooked up to a 20 yr old Sony receiver that I rock out with in the shop.
Fast forward to November, it refused to wake up from a well deserved slumber. Searching feverishly to find a solution, I found to unplug, let the life drain out, then charge and turn on. That worked well until a week ago when I tried that and nothing happened. I did attempt to reinstall the obsolete operating system before my tear laden original post thinking it I was an OS issue but despite my efforts, I believe the end has come. My memorial service will be with my scrap wood in my burn pile. I’ll post before and after pics. Thought about taking it to the gun range, but for some reason I quickly dismissed that idea.
Rest assured, no carves were compromised or harmed during its slow, final death. I still attempt to restart it every time I’m out in the shop, but to no avail. Part of the grieving experience I think. That laptop has been trusty and dependable for 13 years! Unheard of in our disposable society.
In the meantime, I’m using my design computer as my control computer. Kinda strange, but also quite effective. I am hesitant to do any designing while carving though. Heck, I don’t even surf the internet while it’s carving.
As I wipe the tears from my tablet, I must go have a cup of coffee. May my trusted laptop rest easy!
Have not bought a replacement yet. Hard to part with 300.00 for a 4-6 year old MacBook that may not have lead a sheltered life like my 2011 Mac. I haven’t explored using my 2020 MBP for a control computer and replacing it. I don’t know how expensive a replacement would be new, plus it’s overkill.
Once again, happy new year to you and yours!